Lent without words

Back in February I came back to this blog thinking I’d had a bit of time away, and it was time to return, to give form to the thoughts and experiences I’d been having in the time between Christmas and the approach of Lent. 

Honestly, there hadn’t been much to say since the presidential election in November.  Apprehension, revulsion, fear for myself and others far more vulnerable than I had me speechless.

I was able to identify a single word, lovingkindness, which was able to carry the weight of my fears, and I was able to write about praying with that word.  It made the knot I didn’t know was in my stomach relax, and I started to plan how I would write about all the other cool things that happened when I prayed with my new magic word.

And then, I didn’t.  I didn’t pray.  I didn’t write.  I tried to plan, but no ideas came.  Then Lent came, and still no words, no prayers, no ideas, no plans, no blog posts.  I tried to account for what was happening – maybe this blog had come to a natural conclusion.  After all, how much is there to say about life in a hermitage?  Maybe I had hit a spiritual bare patch, and I could just wait it out until words came back.  Then, finally, I quit trying to “fix” the problem.  And a number of interesting things began to happen.

I picked up a new research project.  I read some Merton.  I picked up on a wise young blogger with an important message for the conservative  Christian community.  I kept hearing news about the American government that makes my heart sick, but I found I felt less fatalistic about it.  A member of my religious community reached out to me to talk about life in a hermitage, and we’ve swapped thoughts and impressions of what this contemplative life is all about.  

Most intriguing of all, I began to listen closely to the ‘pointings’ of a Jamaican-born Advaita teacher who goes by the name of Mooji.  I want to share more of what I am discovering in his message, a message that I find illuminates the Gospel in ways I’ve not heard in Christian circles before.  And I will do so in future posts.  For now, I simply want to say that, for whatever reason, this has been a Lent without words, a Lent in which there has been little to say and much to hear.  It has been humbling.  It has been very good.