#12: A Generous Life

The twelfth understanding in the Lindisfarne concerns the call to a generous, self-giving lifestyle.  Not just tithing, mind you, but listening deeply to the Holy Spirit's instructions on how best to give oneself away.  Further on, the call to generosity in material things is connected with the call to forgiveness in human things.  Wise choice, seeing the two together.

My heart tells me that this willingness to give and forgive is located at the opposite end of the spiritual pole from fear.  What I mean is, if I do not give, it is because I fear I will not have enough.  And if I do not forgive, it is because I fear I am not enough.  That feeling of fear, instead of allowing me to be, or feel, bigger, in fact makes me smaller.  It feels like a contraction of the heart, rather than an expansion of my being.

The act of giving, however, allows a relaxation to take place in the center of my chest.  Not an inflation, telling me how special I am, but a relaxation of the fear that I won't be taken care of, and a willingness to be quite content with "less."  Akin to Understanding #7, on Simplicity, I suspect.  I remember the day my husband told me our charitable giving was nearly 10%.  It was more than I'd ever been able to give in my life.  I wept.  Living simply meant that others could eat, have shelter, and respond to God's call in their own lives.  

Forgiveness is harder for me.  I was born with the rod of perfectionism over my head, and if I'm not beating myself up with it, I'm liable to turn it on someone else.  Learning the art of forgiveness is a life-long challenge for me.  My present suspicion is that relaxing the heart from the grip of fear may be one way to practice allowing forgiveness for myself and others.

I'd like to share a radical witness to the call to generosity here, a blog post by Sarah Thebarge.  If you don't know her yet, you should.  Blessings.